Lovehoney Tongue Teaser Review: 

A Taste of Sensory Delight 

If you’ve been following along with my blog, Little Black Book, you might have already heard that I’m now working as a sex toy tester with BedBible. They’ve been absolutely wonderful in terms of onboarding and customer support, but there was a small mix-up with my first toy: the Lovehoney Tongue Teaser. They no longer needed a review of this toy for their site but very graciously allowed me to keep it. 

And instead of letting it go to waste, like a good little environmental advocate, I thought I’d do a fun little test run review for you! I’ll also be focusing on the sensory aspects in this written review, analysing how it fits into my neurodivergent world.  

***disclaimer: if you want to see my actual nude test of the toy, squirt and all, click here. 

Packaging and Charging

The Lovehoney Tongue Teaser’s packaging was discreet, simple, and informative—exactly what you want if you’re living with others. The key details about the toy, like charging instructions, waterproof capabilities, and vibration settings, are clearly printed on the side of the box. What really stood out for me, though, was the semi-cordless charging system. You just place the tongue on its sleek silver base, which has a cover for discretion. Bonus points for those of you with kids or pets—this case keeps it more secure and tidy, a must for someone who easily gets overwhelmed by visual clutter.  

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Material and Design

The soft, waterproof silicone material is a real treat. The Tongue Teaser’s edges are rounded, so there’s no risk of irritation or uncomfortable friction, even when I used it without lube initially. It’s incredibly flexible, mimicking the natural movement of a tongue, which felt gentle and adaptive against my skin. However, the shape of the toy is a little small for my preference in terms of holding—it felt like I needed a more solid grip to really control it comfortably. 

Now, the tapered tip of the Tongue Teaser is where things got both interesting and frustrating. It allowed me to find my exact sensitive spots with precision, which was amazing, but because of how narrow the tip is, I kept losing those spots if I squirmed or shifted. So, while it can be incredibly precise, it also lacks stability when things get heated.

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Vibrations

The Tongue Teaser offers three steady vibrations of increasing strength, and trust me, they’re strong. The first setting was mild, perfect for someone like me who can be overstimulated by intense vibrations. But by the time I hit the third setting—my favorite—the intensity was incredibly noticeable and enjoyable. I managed to cum twice in about 9 minutes, and the second one even came with a small squirt, so I can definitely say this toy is effective. Full marks in that department!

There are also a few pattern settings, but I didn’t care much for them. Personally, I find that patterns can disrupt the flow of sensation, though some might love the variety. If you’re sensitive to strong buzzing sensations, start slow and see how far you can go.

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Sensory Experience

From a neurodivergent perspective, this toy was a bit of a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, the soft silicone and flexible design were wonderful for avoiding harsh, overstimulating textures or movements. The material felt smooth and comfortable, and there was nothing to catch or drag on my skin. But the intensity of the vibrations, especially on the higher settings, definitely pushed my sensory limits. I found myself on the edge of overstimulation, particularly when trying to stay connected to the sensations in my body while managing the vibrations’ strength.  

The tapered tip was a sensory challenge. While it gave me pinpoint precision, it also became hard to control as I got more aroused, and losing the sensation mid-orgasm was frustrating. I had to constantly refocus and adjust, which took me out of the moment more than I’d have liked. For those of us who experience sensory overload easily, the first setting is likely your best friend, but higher levels will be a balance of pleasure and pushing boundaries.

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3/5)

Conclusion

The Lovehoney Tongue Teaser is a solid choice if you’re after a flexible, discreet toy with strong vibrations. It excels in both its design and effectiveness—I mean, two orgasms and a little squirt in under 10 minutes is a great result! However, for someone who’s neurodivergent and sensitive to overstimulation, the strength of the vibrations and the narrow tip might be a bit of a challenge. If you like a powerful toy but need to ease into it slowly to avoid sensory overload, this one could be a good fit for you. Just make sure to stick to the lower settings if you need to. 

Overall Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)